'When it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change'

Rani and I have been fighting a lot lately. I have overtime developed a sort of a mechanism to deal with her scary, scary bitch fits where she's literally oozing out venom from every pore of her body (It's invisible. So if you're not smart enough to leave then and there, you'll slowly find yourself, as stuck as you can get, in a bog of the venom. It's too late to say 'Eat dung' and stage a walk-out, so you just stay there, petrified, surrounded by thick, bubbling evil smelling venom {It’s still invisible. You thank your lucky stars for that}. The atheist in you starts believing in God and you pray whole-heartedly that she will turn back into Dr. Jekyall before the venom consumes you. Anyway, melodrama aside, they’re not unusual. But lately, I’ve been pretty paranoid that we will grow apart, and venom + paranoia make a dangerous, volatile combination.

Spastic and I are growing closer. His really lame jokes make me laugh like a madwoman. He is a bit immature, compared to me, but then that can be worked upon. He is nice, he is decent and he makes me laugh. The only thing missing: Intelligent conversation. Hopefully, the time we’re taking to know each other better, will reveal a sensitive, serious side of his.

I feel like I’m changing. I’m not the same anymore. I feel like a flirtier, girlier, sexier, more confident version of me. What made me the older version of me is slowly slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. I can’t even pin-point what exactly is different. The abundance of attention from the male kind is one thing. But I have always been slightly frivolous and boy-crazy.

I CAN NOT TURN INTO ONE OF THE SLUTS.

Crap. No one else is going to help because they secretly enjoy the new me better (and those who don’t, won’t help. Dogs.) I am going to have to do this all on my own. This = stopping myself from turning into Summer Roberts from The OC Season 1.