This is just nothing

Sanj indirectly inspired me to stop being lazy and start writing again.
Goddammit! Even I want to be good at what I do!
My school has a ‘Gossip Girl’. And she targeted me in her very first email. Can you believe these people?! I mean it’s been MONTHS since I did something remotely rumour-worthy. I figured if I lay low they’d leave me alone. Apparently, not.
Even though my friends know that I’m none of those things people say I am, half the people who’ve heard of me still think I’m a drunken slut.
I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD SEX!
AND I got action for the first time in a year and 3 months, last month. With my boyfriend of 3 months. Now you tell me how I could possibly come across as a slut. I guess those stale rumours from the Shitaant era are still going around. Ugh.
I sort of re-read my blog yesterday. Man, I’ve changed. Even Rani thinks so. Though some people like the new me, the cynical, no-nonsense girl, some think I’ve just lost my utility.
That’s precisely why I was such a doormat in the first place; I thought that was my place, my area. Somewhere in moving from Ambala to Delhi, I lost my identity, and the post for nice girl was open so I filled it up and sunk my hooks in. Even though I got momentary satisfaction, I was never happy being constantly hurt and having my heart broken. Eventually I realized that just because I can take shit to any limit doesn’t mean I have to. Also, it’s not like it helped the people I love, it just turned them evil creatures who thought they could get away with anything.
I welcomed the change and took it in with open arms. I finally learnt to live with myself and create my own place in people’s lives. I think now I can safely say that I like who I am.
I like that I’m fiercely independent, that I don’t get hurt that easily, that I have a few close friends whom I love to death and others I care for to a safe limit. Other people don’t influence my emotions as much; I don’t need to talk about my problems any more. I will never get taken for granted again; I will never get pushed around again. But then I’m also snappier, blunt, less patient and not as nice.
Well, it’s in the ABC of growing up.
Parth and I are going to hit 4 months and an end in nowhere in sight. It’s a record I tell you.
I guess commitment phobia is actually an alarm bell telling you, you just aren’t with the right person.
Love doesn’t make you unhappy, it doesn’t hurt you and it sure as hell doesn’t make you suicidal (Read: Prashant). Love is like the most beautiful kind of satisfaction, it teaches you that life isn’t a bed of roses but it’s capable of being pretty darn close. Love brings out the best in you and also, stabilizes your life. Love is warm, sweet-smelling (no wait, that’s chocolate) and makes you so happy you can sail through the worst of storms without feeling as much as a tremor. Love is also crazy, whacky and absolutely illogical. It’s like riding the twistiest of twisters, wildest of waves and never for a minute wanting to get off.
Love is awe-wait for it-some.
Okay, enough corniness for a day.