Now I get why people don't like talking to you once they have turned you down. Something changes. Like for example, I don't like talking to N any more because I know he's not over me, I'm scared he'll start emotionally blackmailing me again ("I have to say I was expecting a different answer","You're being too logical about it. It's about the heart and feelings. But it's okay. No issues". Stuff like that.) and I don't want to talk to him till he reaches that point in our relationship where I am, otherwise I'll unnecessarily be leading him on, giving him false hope. I am one girl, who lives far away from him, is in love with someone else and doesn't share his passion for things that matter to him. I'm not being a bitch, he could really do much, much better than a messed up, perpetually perplexed person like me (Alliteration!).
On a happier note, I love being me. That doesn't mean I love my life, it just means I love being able to be myself. Uninhibited and open. I'm pretty much always myself as far as friendships are concerned, but being impulsive, spontaneous in romantic relationships is some new. I don't care if me wanting to call or sms Prashant all the time despite the fact that it costs me comes across as desperate or that if I flirt with random guys in the corridor outside my classroom, people think I'm a slut or that if I ask Sy to drop me to my bus or share my pizza slice with Pseudo-Brother Number 2 (PBN2) everyone thinks I'm a well... slut. These are things I want to do, so I'm just going to go ahead and do them.
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