I had this deep conversation with my mom today about love, as in the romantic kind. I was telling her how since I'm still trying to figure myself out and what I believe in, I tend backtrack and change my mind a lot. I haven't really formed definite ideas about anything in life. I have a set of temporary beliefs that change with every relevant experience. So I need someone who is open-minded, someone who can gently counter-argue my theories and ideologies without judging me. Someone who doesn't force me in this way or the other. Sort of like a wall I can bounce my ideas against.
She told me that being with someone who has the same basic ideologies as I do will not necessarily help me be happy or satisfied because there are a lot of smaller differences that can get in the way too. Marriage, she said, is crazy hard. You're suddenly exposed to a myriad of conflicts and then only way to get through them relatively smoothly is by marrying someone you really really like, someone you find so wonderful and appealing and the like, that despite the fact that you're tired of trying to fix things and fighting, you try some more any way because you can't imagine not being with that person. Also, even though families don't always define people they can offer important clues about the person which you may not see till it's very late. Especially, in close knit families. Because while the person who is trying to win you over might be extra careful with illusions, their family won't.
She also said gifts show commitment to some extent, how much the person is willing to bring to the table. Not that lavish gifts symbolize better husbands, just that someone who is willing to go that extra mile to make you happy is sort of more likely to stick around, try harder and be more flexible.
I'm not sure if I agree with all of that.
What say you?
5 comments:
True, that. Although I think that the more thoughtful the gifts, the more hope for the future? Dunno.
And yeah, about all the rest, I hear ya!
Having the same basic ideology should result in being very alike, no? And then those little annoying things will stay just that, little annoying things. And you'll learn to like them after a while. Or Nicholas Sparks says. I dunno. Just, y'know, find a guy who shares your same basic ideaologies, who you really really really like.
Things are very simple. Akshully. Dont think so hard.
Simple in theory :P
Oh shatz, you're Anne now!
Have been for a while now, love.
Post a Comment