Its funny when you feel something when you thought you couldn't possibly feel anything any more. Not with him.
When someone is the center of your universe and then suddenly not even a part of your life, it's like re-defining everything from scratch. If the thing you believed to be the realest part of your life wasn't what it seemed to be, it makes you wonder if anything is real at all. He said he would never hurt me, he said the next time would be different every time we fought, he promised. 
He said, 'Don't leave me'.
I said, 'Never'.
And now it's damaged beyond recognition, maybe beyond repair.

The next time someone says 'Lets do this next year', I'll say 'Yeah sure, if we're still together.' Or at least think that.
The next time someone tells me they'll love me forever, I'll rip their words apart in my head and it'll show on my face.
The next time someone says 'I'm different from the other boys you've dated.', I'll just smile.
The next time someone warns me that I deserve better, I'll believe them.
The next time I won't get hurt.

Nothing is absolute, nothing is forever. It's like riding a wave, sooner or later the wave breaks.
The good part is, where one wave breaks, another one starts.
And then finally, you reach the shore, dig your toes in the sand and know that that's where you want to be.